One Hundred Henries: Bloggin' M'Noggin

Whoa whoa whoa...

henry@saheistand.com (SA Heistand) — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 11:33:52 GMT

7P ET Tonight is Radio 69 Foreplay! Rayne and Mindy take it under the covers!! Get your hair messy and your lips puckered for the slightly softer side of all the Indie music you need to get you in the mood! 9P ET 11P ET It's all about the balls!! Kris, MIndy, Rob and friends! Join us tonight at 11P EST!

Arts Alive Magic!

henry@saheistand.com (SA Heistand) — Tue, 20 May 2008 02:24:51 GMT

    Let's see. We got one crazy boy named Sparkle, a squeeze box, a Henry, and a second floor of a high school.

    How can we make this better?

    And just because it matters:

Henry Appears for Interview on 91.3 FM WYEP

henry@saheistand.com (SA Heistand) — Fri, 09 May 2008 08:24:31 GMT

    In Pittsburgh, there is a station where accordions are okay to huff out melodies, where artists are artistes, where National Public Radio is revered, and where listeners are producers. This station is WYEP. And I was totally on it this morning.

    Cindy Howes, host of the Morning Mix on WYEP keeps a segment every Friday named "My Fifteen Minutes" (an awesome allusion to Andy Warhol - Pittsburgh grown). I saw it on the website and thought it'd be pretty darn awesome to throw my set out there to the world. A little mix of They Might Be Giants, A Fine Frenzy, and Andrew Bird should suffice.

    A few days later I receive an email from Cindy saying that she'd like to interview me for Guest DJ for the next Friday.

    Being a radio supa-freak as I am - I squealed and sent my approval.

    This, as 7:15 AM, my friends, is the result:


    Dreaming is reality, folks.

    And remember.

    STAY POSITIVE, PEOPLE!


    Henry

What Henry Does On Her Day Off

henry@saheistand.com (SA Heistand) — Mon, 05 May 2008 20:20:15 GMT

What-Henry-Does-On-Her-Day-Off-1 - Get Video Code

NEW VLOG!

henry@saheistand.com (SA Heistand) — Fri, 02 May 2008 08:27:44 GMT

One-Hundred-Henries-512008 - Get Video Code

Scaling the Clef's (New) Face: A User's Guide

henry@saheistand.com (SA Heistand) — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 13:27:25 GMT

    As it is becoming more apparent, the world of online radio is residing in its own universe. It has evolved massively, yet now faces overpopulation, depressions, climate changes, and, yes, fuel emissions. Recently, Clef Hangers: Hangin' with Adam & Henry faced resignation of government (and, reflexively, a new declaration of title).

    Introducing the new and flexible face of Clef Hangers!

    We could be starring anybody!

    So we salute Adam in ventures in San Diego, and welcome Kodai Susumu (or, simply, Kirk) to the table! We still have the same influx of accordion and acoustic melodies, as well as the same callers and writers week after week, but with somewhat of an infused core of hard rock and catchy sayings! We're still on every damn Tuesday night at 9PM EST, so join the Two for Tuesday joy of the Cult Vault by visiting Tryst: Your Musical Rendevous before Clef Hangers rides their coattails to pure inhibited BlogTalkRadio surrealism!

    Henry (that would be I) will be off next Tuesday, April 22nd, for a Flor'da vacation. If by luck she (I) won't be eaten by a croc-a-dilly then expect her back the 29th! In meantime, enjoy Clef Hangers: Hangin' with Kodai & Joo!

    You've all been a joy, fellas! Keep a-Vaultin'!

    Henry

    SAHeistand.com is your only source for the semi-truthful story (but only because we didn't return the New York Times' calls).
     So come back all the time.
     I need things to do.



Tryst, YOUR Musical Rendevous Before Clef Hangers! TONIGHT!

henry@saheistand.com (SA Heistand) — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 13:28:43 GMT
BRUTALITY INFECTS THE AIRWAVES TONIGHT!!!

OPERATION DOWNFALL sets your ears ablaze at 7pm!

brought to you by:

Join us at:

CULT VAULT SCHEDULE

henry@saheistand.com (SA Heistand) — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 18:40:49 GMT

Clef Hangers Public Service Announcement

henry@saheistand.com (SA Heistand) — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:38:57 GMT

    Dear Sir (or Person),
    Dear Elusive Listener,
    Dear Heady Target,
    Fondest Guest,

    We love you. We can't thank you enough for Clef Hanger's firstsecondthird chance at Featuredom! Join us tonight and reap the benefits of your effort to make us awesomer than we could ever possibly contribute!

    Hear what your peers are jing-a-jangling.
    Hear what your hosts are listening to.
    Hear the intent of your soul.

    Oh yes, we have the power. Thank you.

    The party's every Tuesday. At 9 o'clock if you live on the east coast with me and 8 if you're Adam's neighbor.

    (Fun Fact!: Adam Greenfield, esq's a homegrown Iowan. So that probably means the next farm over.)
    (In Wisconsin.)
    (Incidentally, where the producer lives.)
    (We Hangers are a rural people.)

    Tonight we have a VERY SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT.
    Tonight we have LOADS OF COOLCOOLCOOL MUZAK.
    Tonight we have THE LINES OPEN TO YOUR DISPOSAL.

    Tonight we await you.

    Alright, kids. You know the contract.

    Luffink-Joo!,

        The Henry Half

    (PS!: We're over here!)

    (PSS!: If by any lame excuse you cannot attend this epic segment, please feel all the power in the world to subscribe to us on iTunes - oh it's so cool.)

    (PSSS.: Due to remarkable new research, Adam is not originally from Iowa! However, he will be moving to San Francisco in a few months. The man resides no where. He could be Carmen Sandiego, but we don't have the records.)

This Might Not Just Be For Your Midgets

henry@saheistand.com (SA Heistand) — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 12:39:14 GMT

    "Here Come the 1-2-Whadda-Wah?"

    Intrigued, are you?

    They Might Be Giants, if they haven't already proved themselves to be, are constructed of two lifelong front men John Flansburgh (guitar) and John Linnell (squeeze box, keyboards), joined by Marty Beller (drums), Danny Weinkauf (bass), and Dan Miller (guitar, keyboards). Every time you see them--excuse me, Them, expect something different and cherish the moment, because you'll never have that same taste again. But also be delighted to know that you'll be getting something better than the last time--oh, and do try to believe. It is possible. Here Come the 123s is Their third children's album, and Their thirteenth studio album to date--The Else being Their twelfth. (Read my review of The Else here.)

    Like its prequels (No!, Here Come the ABCs), Here Come the 123s is a highly audio-visual effort. Your DVD portion is illustrated by such classy people as the Brothers Chaps (you'll thank them for Homestar Runner), Divya Srinivasan (who has worked with TMBG previously on Their Venue Songs project), and Hine Mizushima (a fan to rival you and me!). Not only an assortment of designers, but it seems every T-M-B-G member dipped Their callused finger into the pot... As per usual, the Johns make up the meat of the project, but what of the Two Band Dan and Marty? And what about those fabled Velcro Horns? And what, what of family members?

    Let's be honest. This album incorporates all deities of the They-iverse.

Dan Miller sings all out in lucky track seventeen in "Infinity".

Danny Weinkauf wrote "Number Two" (and I strongly suspect that it's him singing).

Marty Beller puts the BeeGee in TMBG--see "High Five!".

Dan Levine and Mark Pender horn it up in "High Five" and "Seven Days of the Week (I Never Go to Work)".

Mr. Levine's niece, Hannah (11) is quite the songstress. She is a highlight on this album, sometimes even outshining T-M-B-G in "Zeroes", "High Five!", "One Dozen Monkeys", "I Can Add", and "Ooh La! Ooh La!". She's a pro.

Robin "Goldie" Goldwasser, Flansy's supa-cool wife not only grabs you soothingly by the throat in "The Secret Life of Six" and "Ten Mississippi", but creates the John-John puppet duo and the Deeply Felt Puppet Theatre. This woman is amazing. No joke.

Henry "Best Name Ever" Linnell in a duet of sorts with Papa Linnell in "Seven". Collectively now--AWWWW.

    This album retains every little thing you love about the Giants, so don't give up. These guys may say They're old and losing Their hair, but the Johns are backed by people that will always keep Them young, attention-getting, but always blemish-free.

    I hereby give this album three point four asterisks.

    { * * * .4}



     Track 01 : "Here Come the 123s!" { * * * }

        "They Might Be Giantsss...Here come the 123sss..."

        A little different, a little more sentimental than the poppy, whirly-bird
"Here Come the ABCs" theme. Plus - Linnell? Solo? Whadda-Wah?

    Track 02 : "Zeroes" { * * * * }

        "Zeroes. (zeroes) Zeroes mean so much."

        This song certainly invokes something, I just can't name it. Zeroes,
by all means should mean nothing--but they do, buttheydon't, but oh how
they do. (And Flansy will elegantly tie this to your brain all day.)

    Track 03 : "One Everything" { * * * }

        "And if you go out and count up everything - it'll add up to one."

        Linnell's warm voice will really thrum your heart strings. This song
is perfect for kids who question everything. In fact, every Linnell song it
seems will call up something in your child to think about their surrounding
omniverse.

    Track 04 : "Number Two" { * * * * }

        "All over the world, you know that it's true, I'm always around, y'know I'm
the Number Two."

        This song was written by Danny Weinkauf and I remain convinced
that it is Mr. Red Pants himself singing (through the side of his mouth--
kyoot!). It's just gotta be. This has that classic, jazzy piano style that reminds
you of a universal something, but you'll never figure it out.

    Track 05 : "Triops Has Three Eyes" { * * * * }

        "Two eyes on a face are usually enough..."

        Very bouncy-smooth--kids will dance and so will you. You should
even sway a little. This song has so many layers; you gotta really listen. There's
this "AiAiAiAiiAiiiAiiii" track in the back that is cool. This song has finally
made me ask, something that has been ricocheting off the top of my head
for two years: Where exactly does TMBG look for Their ideas? Why triops?
Hell, I had never even heard of a triops. Now a nation of three year olds do.
What will the future be like?

    Track 06 : "Apartment Four" { * * * * * }

        "If you ever get bored, come knock on my door, the one with the four."

        This...this song...is on my tip-top ten [thousand] TMBG playlist.
Honestly, I've been waiting for a track like this to come out ever since I started
listening to Them religiously two years ago. I love pretty much every thing
They do, trust me, but rarely does one outshine the rest such as this one.
If you get this album for any sole reason, it better be this song.
    (Incidentally, I wrote a stage-play-soon-to-be-turned-radio-play based on this
song and a few other TMBG drum-oriented songs - i.e. "Rhythm Section
Want Ad" and "Doctor Worm".)

    Track 07 : "High Five!" { * * * }

        "Keep it cool! Old school!"

        Marty really kicked it on the previous kid's album in "The Alphabet Lost
and Found" (another tippy-top falsetto fave), and you shouldn't expect much
different here. Did anyone else figure that his voice can go so high?

    Track 08 : "The Secret Life of Six" { * * }

        "Six knows how to stand on his head."

        Remember in the good ole days of Sesame Street how those foam numbers
on sticks (with a little help from some old school stop-motion) would climb
the stairs of a sunny ghetto in Brooklyn or emerge from a lake? Yeah, this'll
evoke images. A very different style for our Flans--do I sense...some Raffi-esque?
Say it isn't so! (It isn't so. It's waaay better than Raffi, 'kay.)

    Track 09 : "Seven" { * * * }

        "We want cake! Where's our cake?"

        I'm sensing a story here. One could have hours of fun just
brainstorming on how this song began. (Did ickle Henry have a seventh
birthday party?) This Dust Brothers track is highly memorable by its distinct
beyond distinct beat. It will leave you limerent.

    Track 10 : "Seven Days of the Week (I Never Go to Work)" { * * * * * }

        "Work is the last thing on my mind."

        This cover of a drinking ditty has been featured in the TMBG podcast,
the previous kid album, and this one. The Giants love this song and you do
too. That full trumpet sound? Brought to you lovingly by Mark "Loveman"
Pender. And singing along is inescapable.

    Track 11 : "Figure Eight" { * * * * }

        "Turn left, go straight, turn right, straight again."

        So, the lyrics are pretty straight forward but it's the HARMONY you gotta
watch out for. This is a totally rockin' piece of work and quite possibly possesses
the only lyrical use of Zamboni--ever.

    Track 12 : "Pirate Girls Nine" { * * * * }

        "Legend grew about their daring, never did they walk the plank."

        Flansy utilizes his amazing vocal range and design. Not to mention some
awesome accordion playing on Linnell's part. This tells an imaginative scene of
pirate girls--appealing because everyone wishes they were one. But this definitely
a fun one to sing along to. Do it.

    Track 13 : "Nine Bowls of Soup" { * * * }

        "I didn't think you even really liked soup."

        I get the feeling Linnell wrote this around "ichthyosaur." However random,
it's an amazing musical journey delving into interplanetary relations,
telecommunications, and manners.

    Track 14 : "Ten Mississippi" { * * }

        "Counting the seconds while singing the Mississippis..."

        A great song to practice your accordion scales to. Oh, and Robin Goldwasser's
voice never fails to amaze. Holy crap.

    Track 15 : "One Dozen Monkeys" { * * * * * }

        "It was a barrel that came from the jungle."

        This is the album's battery, by god. Hannah Levine is one classy little girl.
And Flansy's backup just kills me. There's so much attitude in this one, it's hard
to stop yourself from jazzin' right along with 'em. (We'll never look at a monkey
the same way again.)

    Track 16 : "Eight Hundred and Thirteen Mile Car Trip" { * * * * * }

        "Four hundred and seventeen miles to go."

        A blip (fifty-seven seconds) of rockin' reality. Are we peaking into the
touring life of They Might Be Giants? Whichever, this song would make for an
explosive concert!

    Track 17 : "Infinity" { * * * * }

        "How can I reach infinity?"

        Yay! The awesome guitar-licking and word-pealing skillz of Mr. Dan Miller!
This song embraces a common struggle. Dig that empathy.

    Track 18 : "I Can Add" { * * * }

        "I don't even know Spanish, but I'm gonna sing it in Spanish now!"

        This is another favorite of mine (be patient, I'm a fan-girl). Flansburgh
proves once again this he can hits notes and voices never-ever imagined before.
The man kills me.

    Track 19 : "Nonagon" { * * * * * }

        Okay, okay! HERE'S the real kicker! I cannot (NOT) stop listening to this
song, because it's pure harmonic-lyrical genius. This song should come with a
freaking warning siren. With so many songs stuck in your head,
how will you function?

    Track 20 : "Even Numbers" { * * * }

        "Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, red, green."

        This song could be categorized as Classic Linnell, featuring such ventures
as a sequencing, driver's education, and a disquieting confusion between genders.

    Track 21 : "Ooh La! Ooh La!" { * * * * }

        "Hike up your pants and do the coco pop."

        Oooooh yeah! Flansy and Robin rapping about skipping rope. It's the
answer to my most troubling dreams. The lyrics will drive you crazy with the
need to analyze.

    Track 22 : "The Heart of the Band" { * * * * }

        "We all like to play in the band--uh huh."

        Every instrument gets name-checked here--except for the keyboards,
which play a fairly large role in this song. Poor Linnell. I first heard this song
when John Flansburgh and John Linnell made a guest appearance on
Playhouse Disney's Higglytown Heroes (which, incidentally, they wrote the effing
theme for--hell yeah). It was awesome. And apparently Danny Weinkauf is black.
And Dan Miller, erm, a girl. Y'know, They have to suit every demographic and
everything.

    Track 23 : "Hot Dog!" { * * }

        "We're taking off, we're dancing now."

        I really, really want to say that this song is annoying. You have no idea
how much I yearn to storm that out. But the truth is, I watch Playhouse
Disney just for this moment in my life. (Not to mention Higglytown Heroes.)
And chances are you'll be dancing like...that too.

    Track 24 : "The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Theme" { * * }

        "Come inside, it's fun inside."

        Oh hell YES, you will sing along to this! The only annoying part is that
Mickey actually finds the gall to say something in his own theme song--as do
his friends. Repulsive. But Flansburgh makes it okay.

    Track 25 : "One Two Three Four" { * * }

        "One two three four."

        Truly prolific in the elements of sound. The beginning reminds me of
Mike Nesmith's birthday party scene in Head where Davey, Micky, and Peter are
dressed in monastic robes before jumping out of 'em and tripping on E. And
somehow this makes sense in accordance to the song...

    Track 26 : "John Lee Supertaster (Live)" { * * * }

        "Every flavor explodes, expodes and explodes."

        Perhaps mildly inappropriate for a children's album, but start 'em
young, I say! This track is absolutely r-ock-ing and would be nothing but noise
to the untrained ear.

    Track 27 : "Bed, Bed, Bed (Live)" { * }

        Sorry, John. This is interesting, at best. NOT my favorite version of the song
and certainly not a clincher for an album precedingly awesome as this, but I can get
the gist. Gets the kids to settle down after their routine moshing.

    (Disclaimer: I review as a fan and as such, suck supremely at it. Take all views with a grain of acid and you might feel better.)

Henry is Older!

henry@saheistand.com (SA Heistand) — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 20:38:32 GMT

Henry-is-Older - Get Video Code

Henry-is-Older - Get Video Code
    I'm eighteen, baby! And! I has accordion and knowledge!
    Man, so much has been going on I just haven't had the time to post here in a while! My sincere apologies, if anyone checks this. Again. Yes. But, s'riously. Here's a list of things that have happened in the past few months:

I saw They Might Be Giants twice. The one in Lancaster in July with my Uncle and Aunt and then again in Pittsburgh (which was AMAZING, by the way) on November 15th. Zyzzy and I got there exceptionally early and heard soundcheck. Erika, Colleen, and Justine showed up a little late 'cause Millvale couldn't be more confusing. And we were practically on top of the stage. Oppenheimer opened for the Giants and we talked to 'em a bit after the show. Very nice guys, very very nice. (Can you say AIRHORN solo? That just about won all of my respect for the evening.) The Giants came on and my group and I had an orgasm and a half--each. We were placed directly in front of the Roland (and MAIN SQUEEEEZE!) and John Linnell was giving us the strangest looks. As well as his setlist--THAT I GOT TO TAKE HOME. Marty Beller gave Justine his drumsticks and Danny Weinkauf signed John Linnell's setlist for me. Oh, and Flansburgh almost fell on us during "The Famous Polka". If you want more info, please ask. I can't think. The whole thing seems like an utter dream...

I have a radio show. With Adam Greenfield of Writerscafe.org fame. We've joined the Cult Vault, a fast growing organization striving to promote all the great great great shows of creative output on BlogTalkRadio. I think you should check out the show. As well as the other members of the Cult Vault. It is really great stuff, man.

I've written a billion things. And all are up on the Writer's Cafe. (This may or may not include half of a destined TmbG fanfic. Do not blame me. My perversions are unkempt. But you'll probably like it. Unless you're Them, then I am sincerely sorry--then again, I wouldn't mind having fanfiction about me...slash fiction even... Think of it a-as a joke, yes.)

I has a accordion. And continually choose to talk in baby-speak when I discuss it. I've learned a ton on it with the help of Jeanne! Currently, I'm trying to master "Valse d'Amelie" (Yann Tiersen). I've been teaching myself smidgens of They Might Be Giants songs, such as "Older" (yes), "I Palindrome I", "Ana Ng", "Experimental Film", "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)", the bellow shake in "Subliminal"... I'm working on it. I want to be an accordion masta.

I have a job. At Kings Family Restaurant. I have money now.

I got into Shippensburg University. So now I have a future!

I still have not worked on writing that new book. But I'm getting there.

    That's about all I can think of for now but it all pales in comparison to the fact that I can now go into porn shops.

    Thank joo, thank joo.
    Come back soon!

        Luffink-joo,
        Henry

The Great Palindrome-Ng Insult to Music

henry@saheistand.com (SA Heistand) — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 11:55:43 GMT

The-Palidrome-Ng-Insult-to-Music - Get Video Code

(This video includes a version of poorly constructed lip-synch, an organ, and an accordion performing both TMBG's "I Palindrome I" and "Ana Ng". It's six minutes long, but so worth it if you're look for a shit and giggle.)

    Hope you enjoy. I'm a little busy right now, but I'll be sure to update (and explain) on this new development a tad later! Ta-tas!

    Henry

    (In so many words, I make Flansy look like a girly man and Linnell a suave he-bitch.)

    Update:

    Alright! So last Sunday I bought an accordion from this lovely woman named Jeanne that I met on Craigslist! She had bought it for $700, but had listed the price as $450. When I met her she cut another fifty off! We were jamming in a stairwell at a firehall in Springdale. It's just another bullet I can add to my long list of surreal happenings.

    Anyway. The accordion is a pristine Italo-American (made in Italy!) 120-bass with three octaves. And it's heavy. I'm going to be real buff in a month, I bet. I love this accordion! It sounds great and it's smooth to operate. It will get its use, believe me.

    Jeanne has also offered some beginning "lessons" to get me set up; not only that, she's photocopied loads of info and beginner sheets of music! This woman is a godsend.

    The downfall? Now it only makes me wish even more that I was Linnell.



Clef Hangers

henry@saheistand.com (SA Heistand) — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 10:00:56 GMT

    Recent future plans being made have drawn me to the fuzzy world of radio broadcasting! In preparation for such an event (such as becoming a supa-chic radio announcer for WYEP or WSYC), I've gotten myself in cahoots with Writer's Cafe supa-star, Adam Greenfield for a little writo-musico project for Blog Talk Radio. The name? I've already told you: Clef Hangers. Because you'll be hanging with Adam and Henry. Catchy, ain't it?

    Anyway, we're in the works of setting up the show and times on Blog Talk Radio, so keep checking back and forth between here and here for more info! Right now you can join Writer's Cafe and join our group! Twenty-three members and growing! We just started yesterday folks, so shimmy yourself into the parade! Join Writer's Cafe and maybe you'll submit to our contest and win our Featured Writer hotspot! For. Two. Weeks. Can you smell that promotion? Smells like freedom. (Oh, and when the time comes, vote for Stephen Colbert '08. Appreciate it, thanks.)

    We'll be getting a website in the future, but in the meantime check the Writer's Cafe group regularly and the Blog Talk Radio profile page often. More updates later! Subscribe to this entry (or, preferably, my blog) and you'll see those updates!

    Have a hoppy, sunshiny day, yo.

    The Henry Half of Clef Hangers

Wishing I Were Linnell

henry@saheistand.com (SA Heistand) — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 23:09:29 GMT


   So I've done it again. I've delved deeper into my obsession with They Might Be Giants and here's another outlet. It's "Experimental Film" (IN FULL - at least for the keyboard part, yeah?) off of TMBG's album The Spine. I found the sheet music on Wikifonia.org. Very neat site for any one looking for any sheet of music. They don't have a huge selection, but I think it's a fairly new site and at least every week a member uploads a new sheet of music of their choosing. Very noice, wouldn't you agree?

   I have a few more songs I'm struggling to learn right now and though you're probably not getting much excitement out of it - I sure am. I like to pretend I'm Linnell sometimes.

   And just so you individuals know - I am working on that Henrycast. It's just taking a little longer with all that college stuff and work stuff and writing stuff and stuff stuff. It's a little overbearing. But I somehow find time to teach myself piano.

-Experimental-Film--on-Organ - Get Video Code

Fighting School Lunches One Fry At a Time

henry@saheistand.com (SA Heistand) — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:25:22 GMT

   I must've missed the memo, but last week or so my old high school was on the news for an organized lunch boycott. How awesome is that? Finally, some dignified notoreity! If I had still been there, you know I would've been behind one of those guys in the hats shaking my groove thing at Martorelli Field. But, y'know, I would do so with class. I don't blame them, I would've boycotted those damn lunches too. They weren't very good.

   Personally, I didn't think that the price spike was that bad while I was there, but according to, y'know, people that still go there, it raised $0.25 again this year. Whew, wow. That's a biter. I guess they're just looking out for the little guy, instead of, y'know, stuffin' 'em in lockers. But we gotta be objective here, people. The school doesn't make money off them lunches. That's sort of sad. We were eating our way to Martorelli, baby!

   Anyway, I must go back to my Consumer Mathematics work before I fail my brain any longer.

   Here's a link for the full, more honest coverage from WTAE-TV. You're encouraged to squeal when you see someone you only knew from preschool or saw pimp-walking once in the hallway.

   And I am working on that Henrycast, by the way. I just gotta work six hours tonight. And do school work. And study for the SATs. And practice piano (which reminds me - another shitty video comin' up soon!). And research more on my already picked-out accordion... It's a Hohner and it's freaking great!

   Luff?
      Henry

Another Half-Assed Classic

henry@saheistand.com (SA Heistand) — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 21:01:19 GMT

   You've heard the song over and over again and here it is - again! Crappy-Style! (I'm teaching myself to play the piano, fellas. Stick with me. Tomorrow will be better.)
"Hey There Delilah"

Upload Video - Top 50 - Get Video Code

An Interview!

henry@saheistand.com (SA Heistand) — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 17:16:46 GMT

   My gooood friend, Sarah Yeomans (a.k.a. Colleen) recently sat down with me on the webberface for an interview. It's for her first Journalism assignment, but it may make it to my old high school's newspaper! Publicity, folks! This was the result of our hour long talk (and I say hour because I don't know how long it really was):

In Her Own Write: S.A. “Henry” Heistand on Lead Based and her alter-ego, Henry.

Sarah C. Yeomans

Wilde Society Reporter

Read and Exhale.
   That’s the advice S.A. Heistand gives readers of her new poetry book, Lead Based. This 17-year-old Pittsburgher released the book online in July of this year.
   She now reflects on the process of becoming a published author, her writing career, and exactly why they call her Henry.
   Starting at age four writing about “a group of teenagers that get stuck in a zoo”, Heistand caught on to many different forms of writing early. Her writing level during her early years surpassed many to the point that she was sent to a guidance counselor at Highcliff Elementary for the heavy, deep nature of the pieces she brought forth.
   If only this counselor could see her now.
   Lead Based is Heistand’s first published book, and, according to Heistand, “is a fully self published work. My mother’s a reverend for this Wisconsin New Age group and she had published her own workbooks and teachings on this mysterious website, Lulu.com.” Although shaky of the idea at the start, Heistand formatted her fifty poems into the Lulu template, copyrighted her work, and procured cover work from her younger sister, Allison Heistand. According to the author, “it’s good to knowing I can do something for myself.” Thus, Lead Based birthed the start of a writing career for S.A. Heistand. A book with a title that echoes the profound, toxic nature of the literature inside.
   “You won’t die from reading it (or eating it),” says Heistand, “but hopefully you will be affected by it. It could be about paint. Or it could be about a pencil.”
   For Heistand, the most poignant piece in the entire book, entitled Pap Pap’s Place Burnt Down, was written for her grandfather, nicknamed “Joe Cool” by the family because of his personality. This poem was written for Joe Cool two months before his sudden death and just a short time after his mobile home burnt to the ground. Heistand, “hand-printed the poem on to some notebook paper and placed it in his coffin… I dedicated Lead Based wholly to him.”
   The book, amongst Heistand’s other writings, would surely make her grandfather smile. Writing comes naturally to her, especially her poetry. “It just flows better,” Heistand says of the abundance of poems she has published in her book and many others she has posted at WritersCafe.org. She often glances at her work posted to the Café “to be constantly assured that it’s there. It’s safe. It’s open to interpretation. And, for the most part, it’s out of my head.” Which is good for the readers, too, who get to log on and read the latest work by this talented writer. There, the reader can also glance at chapters out of Heistand’s newest novels or short stories and review the literature as well; by chance, she may have parts of her newest poetry book up for preview soon. “One hundred poems this time, as opposed to Lead Based’s fifty,” she tells the Society. One Hundred Henries- so why is she called Henry?
   “I started a short, stick-figure cartoon about a boy I didn’t like and which a character named Henry always died. I used to draw sketches on my hand and one day two kids in my 9th grade gym class saw it, taunted me with it, and it’s been phenomenal ever since!” she laughs. And with a final regard to Lead Based:
   “Take it with a grain of salt and a big vocabulary. It’s a mouthful.”

Read and exhale.

(Lead Based available from Lulu.com via http://www.saheistand.com)

It Must Be the Coming of the End!

henry@saheistand.com (SA Heistand) — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 17:29:22 GMT

   And you thought that it'd never happen.

   So, it's not exactly a vlog, but it's not a completely different kind of animal.

   What is more impressive (as I like to think) is that I've only practiced this song for less than five days. Because I'm itching to learn accordion, I've taught myself piano. It just fits.

   Something exploded in my microwave, so I'll just get to it then. (Oh, and an absolutely new and more legal Henrycast on the way! Seriously... Though joo probably shouldn't trust me. I know what I'm like, tr-- No. Just don't.)

"Boss of Me"


Upload Video - Top 50 - Get Video Code

Henrycast II

henry@saheistand.com (SA Heistand) — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 14:33:07 GMT


   You didn't think it was possible, but it is, like I is.

   This Henrycast is brought to you by three bottles of water, four hours of diligent audio crafting, constant do-
overs, and many a potty break. THAT, friends and relatives, is child labor.

   This week, expect (no, really) a blog and a vlog coming this here way. Huzzah for being ahead in school,
right? Plllenty of time to devoting amateur behavior to the webberface. As you've probably noticed (jerk), this is
the second consecutive Henrycast that has been finished - on schedule. Have a little faith, guys. So, yeah,
every Saturday you'll see one of these little diddies-doo-dums. Expect them to be more of this length than the
former. A full half-hour of my splurge in music should be enough to get you through rush-hour traffic, yes? Oh,
and tell your friends! You just might make more! And what the hell, delete that tranquil coffee break forever
from your consciousness, and replace it with Henry's Moop-Moop Tunes! Sure to be a treat. Just download 'em
upon your [MP3 player of choice] and share a set of earphones with someone.

   I don't spend four hours on something for nothing. Have at it.

   Transcript:

   ["Fishnet Stockings" - the Stray Cats]

   "Hello and welcome to Henrycast, the only -cast known to be Henrified. We have some cool music comin' your way and feel
free to download this onto your iPod, or your Zen, or your Transcend (such as I). Listen carefully because there's some more
music coming your way. We have plenty of nice things for you today. And remember that this is happening every Saturday;
probably gonna be, y'know, up for download at one o'clock in the morning, or so. Um, I'll be doing a small poetry reading, on
here, this...uh, way past evening. And...forget not to tell your friends about Henrycast because I would love some new
listeners other than my friends and relatives. Thank joo, and, here's some more music."

   ["Museum of Idiots" - They Might Be Giants]

   ["That Time" - Regina Spektor]

   ["Close But No Cigar" - Weird Al Yankovic]

   ["Hey You" - Shakira]

   "That was just 'Hey You' by Shakira; before that, Weird Al, Regina Spektor, They Might Be Giants, and the Stray Cats. I'm
going to right now read a little piece of my new book, LEAD BASED. The poem is called "Mystified" and...here it goes."

   ["Mystified" (LEAD BASED) - S. A. Heistand; buy it at LuLu.com!]

   "Well, that was, uh, my one poem from my book of fifty. It was called 'Mystified' and I hope you enjoyed it; and if you
would like to read more it's on LuLu.com. Just look up 'lead based', uhm, pretty easy to pronounce and spell and whatnot.
So, yes, it's under fifteen dollars and just, eh, go to my website and I should have a button on there that says 'hey, buy this
book.' Right. Back to more Muzak."

   ["Ooh" - Scissor Sisters]

   ["Swing Low" - Rocco Deluca & the Burden]

   ["Bathwater" - No Doubt]

   ["Sleepwalk" - The Brian Setzer Orchestra]

   "You just heard a granola mix of Scissor Sisters, Rocco Deluca, and No Doubt. There's no easy way of saying this, but it's
time for me to get some...shut-eye, so please download this to your iPod and share with others. I would very much
appreciate that. And please go remembering that I don't own these songs - I just bought them. This is Henry. Signing off.
'Night."

   [Fades]

   Have something you want to see on Henrycast? Exclusive interviews with your favorite historical
character? A polka? Superfluous trivia? Comment here or write me at henry@saheistand.com!

Henrycast (the First!)

henry@saheistand.com (SA Heistand) — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 14:38:36 GMT

   In silent amazement of what modern technology can do, I give you my very own Podcast, or as I am so
resigned to calling them -- Henrycasts. These will feature roughly twenty minutes of rehearsed speech and
clusters of songs out of my clusterf*cked collection of forty different albums I have collected since...youth. (And
climbing ever forward!)

   So without further ado (as there was no much "do" to begin with), I give you...Henrycast! The First,
gobbammit!

   Transcript:

   ["Do You Want To" - Franz Ferdinand, fades]

   "Heyo, this is teh Henry here to tell you that I have way too much music in my iTunes library. To continue with the theme of
sharing music without permission, let me remind that I am not doing this for the cash flow that I can be pulling in from my
neurotic love of freedom. No, folks. I give to you a free Podcast from the generosity of my own heart and the lackluster
boredom of another summer day. Enjoy my shitload of music."

   ["Do You Want To" continues]

   ["It's Not My Birthday" - They Might Be Giants]

   ["Midnight Show" - The Killers]

   ["Kuessen Verboten" - Die Prinzen]

   "Hello, you have just been listening for the past twelve minutes to Henrycast, an extension of your imagination."

   ["Illinois" - John Linnell, fades]

   "Also known as BitchSlap FM, in affiliate with 'Snoopsie' Peterson--if only we were actually on the radio. You've never heard
of us, but such nuances can be forgiven."

   ["Illinois" - John Linnell, but with more gusto]

   "I'd like to back announce what you've heard just now. Introducing Franz Ferdinand's 'Do You Want To' off their You Could
Have It So Much Better album. 'It's Not My Birthday' live with They Might Be Giants at the Chameleon Club in Lancaster,
Pennsylvania. 'Midnight Show' by the Killers off their Hot Fuss album. 'Kuessen Verboten' by die Prinzen and currently 'Illinois'
off They Might Be Giants' John Linnell's solo album, State Songs. Great background songs for talking to yourself to people who
happen to turn in. And here comes more."

   ["Pennyroyal Tea" - Nirvana]

   ["Hall of Heads" - They Might Be Giants, fades]

   "That was just 'Pennyroyal Tea' of Nirvana. Well, I hope that you have enjoyed this first of many Henrycasts. Hungry for
more? Feel free to check back regularly at saheistand.com for more voyeurism than can be bared. 'Til next time (n'at), this
has been Henry, at Henrycast."

   ["Hall of Heads" - They Might Be Giants (Apollo 18)]